I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
