you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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