how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
