and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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