If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I want is dick and wine.
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