My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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