What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize