Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
