Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
