Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
