my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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