He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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