I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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