Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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