I must be too annoying 4 u.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
