it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
