I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
