Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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