I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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