I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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