I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
