i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
