my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
