Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
