you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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