i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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