Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
