My sheets look like a crime scene.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
