Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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