Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
