The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize