I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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