NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
