I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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