Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
