So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
