; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
