i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
