yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Randomize