i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
