Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
