There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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