go do what you do best...puke behind churches
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
