What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
