What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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