Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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