Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
