I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize