I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize