I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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