yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize