Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
