You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
