It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
