okay pat passed out under dana's car
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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