I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
