YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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