I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
