You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
