And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
